Coldplay Reminds Me of Myself

Happy 4th of July, everyone. I know that I'm late for the holiday, but I've been so busy! I need to get you up to date. We'll start back in Hollywood!

That's right, we five dudes blessed Hollywood with our rugged good looks and our quirky sense of fashion. We even met a celebrity! We stopped briefly in front of the Chinese Theater where I slowly caressed the hand imprints of one Emma Watson, and Kyle stood in the foot prints of Darth Vader. How's that for ominous?!

Our show in Long Beach wasn't much to cough at. We met some nice folks. But let's put it at this: our $2 band discount on our pizza that we received three hours after we ordered did not put us in very good moods. Well, the non-applause of the audience didn't help.

We drove all night to Tucson. On the way there, we got stopped by Border Patrol. We had to empty out our pockets and a dirty dog got all up in my van! We had to repeatedly answer to this interrogation:

"Listen, guys. We know you have something. Now's the time to tell us what's in the van."

To which we replied:

"Kurt's got some leftover Chinese food, there's a cooler full of Salsitas, and some really dirty Mad-lib's that would make your mother blush!"

To which the officer replied with a pistol whip to Alex's forehead.


Eventually they let us go and we continued on to Tucson. We arrived around 7 AM and it was already in the 90's. Here's a picture of Kyle sleeping in the van in Tucson. Isn't he cute?
Too cool ourselves off, we sat around in Borders for a few hours. Then, we decided to go to the cheap theater in town and see Splice. You'll have to ask the other guys how it ended because I couldn't take it anymore and left to find a more edifying film.

Splice is easily, one of the worst movies I've ever seen. HTTYD, however, has Vikings in it! So that was awesome!

The show in Tucson wasn't much better than the movie except that we got a free dinner out of it. And that night Alex and I finally got to sleep after being awake for over 24 hours.

The next day, we drove to Sedona, Arizona, a small tourist town just north of Flagstaff. It's a small town. And they didn't bother booking any locals. So, once again, we geared up for a show for three people. But I took my shirt off, so that helped. A lady who works there invited us to stay at her parents' house. We grabbed some frozen pizzas and walked into a very interesting night full of strangers, strangers playing music, and strangers telling us that we didn't know how to make frozen pizzas. We each got a bed, however. Best night of sleep I've had yet!

The 4th of July was packed full, so bare with me.

The five of us headed to The Grand Canyon around noon, leaving our bags and trailer behind at the parents' house, where we intended on staying again. It was a beautiful drive. But not as beautiful as the canyon itself. I cannot describe it to you. Well maybe I can. A really big hole with lots of layers. But that doesn't really do it justice. Hopefully Kurt will stop being so lazy and post some pictures and videos up on here. It was truly amazing.

And whatever you hear, I did NOT whimper like a child while climbing out onto a rock.

On the way back, we stopped at Bedrock City (see below), where Kyle pet a goat and Dillon climbed through the belly of a large snake where he developed the Whooping Cough and we think Dysentery.

Back in Sedona. Our hostess was not answering her phone. We treated ourselves to a nice meal and headed to Olde Sedona where we knew there was a band playing and people we had met would be there. Boy were we in for a treat.

We caught the tale end of Fat Andy Dick's set who sounded like a very interesting mixture of people.
He sang a wonderful song about Unicorns and Dragons, followed by a song about Koalas.
Then we sat through some of Dirty Lingo's set, but it was just a little too much for us. We drove back to the house to see if anyone was there (because we still hadn't heard back from our host). We found a raging party and three sisters ready to get wild. We packed up the Party Van and headed back to the bar where we got our dance on like crazy.

The night didn't end there!

We came back to the house and continued the dance party in the living room. Kurt got his grind on. And we danced and danced. We decided to head to bed when we could see the light poking its beautiful head over the mountains. I'll never forget the last 24 hours and these three nutty sisters that have been so hospitable (plus, the middle sister loved grinding with Kurt!).

Tonight we head to Scottsdale. Then back to Tucson where our skin will most likely drip off our bodies. It's the hottest place on Earth.

Oh! I also finished A Swiftly Tilting Planet. Read it!

-Zack