Saturday, May 2, 2009

I'm back, not black

Welcome back, readers, to an event that can be described but never understood, watched but never fully comprehended, and enjoyed but always underpaid. This is of course, touring.
We’ve been on the road for just over 24 hours and already I’m reminded why I love being on tour. So far we’ve:

-Danced in a Mexican restaurant with Mexicans
-Watched a saxophone solo in a garage
-Beaten Ninja Turtles: Turtles In Time in under 30 minutes

Last night we played a show in Winona Lake, IN with some of our friends Kill And Eat. We pulled up to the venue to find out it was in someone’s garage, which is always (usually) (sometimes) good news. This time was one of the “always”. It was a somewhat small but receptive crowd, and we all had a great time playing. Our set was, dare I say, flawless, and Winona Lake was officially “Rodeo’d.” You’d be hard pressed to find a citizen of the town that isn’t still talking about our show, and that’s the norm.

After the show we headed out with our friends, the white Grant Hill, and Caleb. They took us to an authentic Mexican restaurant where I ate two tacos and then we all wowed the patrons with our dancing skills. By wowed I obviously mean confused. They served us chips and salsa and the chips were more like wheat thins than chips.

After the dining experience we headed to Grant Hill’s house where we played video games and hung out for a while. Did you know that Grant Hill was in the movie American Teen? If you look at the DVD case he’s on the back sporting a classy but fun green suit. He loves talking about his experience, and you should definitely ask him about it. His sister and her boyfriend (?) came home late at night mad drunk. He was convinced that cranberry juice was a diuretic, and we had a hell of a time acting like we thought diuretic and diarrhea were the same word. He got mad, called people bitches, punched the girl, and told me to Google something without internet access. It was a lot of fun, and I hate him.

This morning we woke up to a fest of French (freedom) toast, cereal, orange juice, bananas, and weird cookies. I ate so much food and Grant Hill chastised me for taking two slices of toast. Sorry Grant but a man’s gotta get his eat on. I know you tried to box me out but height and weight allowed me to prevail this time.

After food we hung out for a good while, I ate 4 “fun size” bags of chips, which by the way, aren’t fun at all. Fun to me is eating an entire bag of chips in one sitting. They should call those “settle for this” size. After I ate each bag I hid the remains and left them in a spot that Grant will probably find in a few weeks. Ants and bugs will probably find the crumbs first, and I’m looking forward to getting that nasty email regarding my dickhead move.

We left Grant’s house and now we’re in Grand Rapids, MI sitting in a coffee shop, stealing their bandwidth. I made $8 on ChaCha and I’m feeling pretty good about that. Dragonforce is playing here tonight and I’m not worried about them stealing our crowd. If they think the novelty of their band hasn’t worn off yet, then they’re probably still wearing Soap shoes and riding Razor scooters.

Until next time,
Cool Steve out.


  1. shit son, i beat TMNT 4: TIT (LOL!) in 13 mins.

  2. "It was a lot of fun, and I hate him."

    Had me rollin'


    i'm convinced cranberry juice is a diuretic as well because of the fact that it is.

    Well played show in winona btw.