Tour Blog, Dog

We're all Snoozin'

2011-07-23T13:58:00.001-07:00

People ask us what tour is like. . . and we don't hear them because we're asleep.

It'll Kill You

2011-07-20T17:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, so you are probably bummed that there have been no updates. The problem? We've been driving through the night, getting what sleep we can. No food, no money. Kurt ate his iPhone because he was so delirious from hunger, he saw the apple on the back and. . .well, you get the idea. But I've been able to capture some moments with my iPod touch (that I bought with my own money). Get into it!

Don't mind if I do!

Ooooooh! Beach boys! I don't know about you, but I'm getting good vibrations!

Charlie the most idiotic Pelican. He can't eat something even if you throw it right in his huge stupid mouth.
FREE STEVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Zoidberg

The Real World in San Diego! That's right. Mtv's the REAL WORLD. Hi, I'm TV's Rodeo Ruby Love. Plan on it!

Living the life at Club Nokia in L.A.

A Quick Recap

2011-07-13T10:59:00.001-07:00

It wasn't quite how I remembered it.
Sellouts.
On the menu for tonight: Success!
If this is where he sleeps, I don't want to imagine where he likes to poopoo peepee!
Steve let one rip in the van. Pee Yew!
The reason Ben forgets his stuff everywhere is because he is busy trading stocks online. Looking smooth, Ben!
We tried to let Breezey drive. Women! Am I right, fellas?!

Everybody's takin' a nap...

2011-07-12T13:13:00.001-07:00

...yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kurt
-RRL

We All Make Boners

2011-07-11T14:24:00.000-07:00

Hello from Tucson!
Can you believe it, the weather is actually not that bad! Last year, we all had to get medical treatment for 3rd degree burns. Not to mention watching one of the worst movies I've ever seen. But today, our skin is safe inside of Emily's home. It's a great house that overlooks the city.
Updating Tour Blog, Dog, is a tough thing right now. We've had very little time to do much of anything. So few adventures and mishaps! We are touring with Slipknot and it's been a lot of fun! There are a lot of names to remember between Streetlight Manifesto and Reel Big Fish. So we just call everybody Jose and Doug. It makes it easier.

After our Dallas show, we stayed the night with Ben's bud Brianna, who incidentally threw her plus-size thong on stage. We were given the Skyline chili dip treatment and got about 3 hours of sleep. We woke up a 5am and Kyle drove us all the way to Albuquerque. And my dear lord was it ever hot. It made Tucson last year look more like a pizza oven than a blistering inferno. But I'll tell you what. Albuquerque was a blast. We met a lot of cool dudes and girl dudes, including Ryan, who spent his entire allowance on a bunch of junk. Kyle and I also got a delicious hot dog with some nice folks who couldn't make it to the SOLD OUT SHOW! It made me miss home just a little.

That night our buddy Paul who tour manages for Streetight Manabreasto hooked us up with a sick ass hotel room where we all snuggled like we didn't all hate one another or smelled like bed of pig dookie. Except Ben. He slept on the floor. It's punishment for bringing such a big suitcase. God, that thing is huge.

Last night in Tempe was by far the hottest show yet. People were so wet with sweat it felt like we were at a pool party, except the pool was in Jeff Saturday's jock strap after losing to the Jets in the 2nd round of the playoffs. And instead of playoffs, it was a moshpit. Whatever. I lost track of that analogy. It was gross. But we destroyed the stage, sent 5 kids to the hospital, and made Reel Big Fish so ashamed of their inferior music that they just played 20 minutes of instrumental Pat Benetar singles.

We're crossing our fingers tonight. Last year Tucson gave us one of our best shows. Let's hope it can deliver again. Of course, it will be good no matter what since we're reuniting with the babes from the Love Nest who took care of us when we needed it most. Dillon repaid the favor with a buritto. We're all square now. Thanks, girls! Bon apetit!

Cell Phones are a Pain in the Ass for Society

2011-07-08T19:21:00.000-07:00

Dudes, we've been too busy to update this dog blog. But I promise some pictures and witty quips will soon follow. Here's some news: Texas is hot as hell. Tour is going well. The people of Texas have been so good to us.
More importantly, our hearts go out to the Melton family. My cousin Christina was in pretty rough automobile accident on July 6, but she is recovering. We lost her boyfriend, Nick, that night and our thoughts and prayers are with his family as well.

I'm writing this from the green room in the House of Blues in Dallas. Dirk's here. He says, "Sup bro's." Probably. It's hard to understand him.

We're driving to New Mexico tomorrow. I'm sure we'll take a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

-Zack
RRL

Morning Ghosts

2011-07-06T23:39:00.000-07:00

Breezey gives the best and most utterly astounding wake up calls.

Post-Chinese Food Coma

2011-07-04T17:11:00.001-07:00

Kurt
-RRL

Location:W 29th St,Austin,United States

Might as Well Be Walkin' on the Sun

2011-07-04T13:54:00.000-07:00

The tour began like any other, rushing to get everything organized and cramming as many things in the van as we could fit. We had to leave behind a couple things: Ben's golf clubs, Dillon's 10 gallon cowboy hat, and Steve's sex kit that included scented condoms, rope, and a saddle. Sorry, Steve!
We drove over to our home away from home away from home, Peoria, IL, where we played with our good friends Centralia and Wind and Sail. We got some to see some old friends. And Sarah was the first person to talk to me about 9/11 without making fun of me! Kurt's sister made us so many pizzas that Steve had his worst break out since high school.

The next day we drove to St. Louis, where we hadn't been since 2007. We had a bad experience there. But with Josh's new bar, The Heavy Anchor, plus our friends from the ex-kings of underage parties, the once life-altering jam masters Eagle Scout. So we were looking for a nice change in the Show Me State. But we soon found out that Jeremiah was caught by Chris Hansen in Florida with one of the old groupies, and Ben Helman had the most intense and fun family reunion the world has ever known. So it was a little more fun that the down time on C-Span. But to each his own!

The day began with Kyle being attacked by a rabid dog with three working legs. When he approached the house to explain what happened when the child who lived there threw a firecracker at me. Good ol' St. Louis! Well, the show was tight. Reel tight. We played with an amazing band called Palace. So many good jams and tight harmonies. Reel tight harmonies. Just before we went on, I was accosted outside by Mikey, a homeless man who was an Elvis impersonator. He sang to me "Jailhouse Rock" and "Ain't No Sunshine" and "In the Middle of the Night." He also told me that he was Sarah Branson's 5th husband and that she just ruined him. He wanted some change to stay in a hostel and also to jam with us because he is an "amazing acoustic guitar player." Needless to say I gave him whatever I had but he took off before we could work on our setlist. We played so well that night that bros in the bar were smashing shot glasses in their jubilation.

I drove us the next day to Arkansas. It was a rough drive because Kyle was whooping Steve in Tony Hawk 4 and Steve was howling in desperation. We got to Alma, Alaska, Arkansas, where there were NO RESTROOMS ANYWHERE. I ran two miles down Main Street until I found a sufficient place to open the flood gates. We played a sweaty show in the Swap Shop and got everyone in the room dancing, including a very feisty young man in a wheelchair. After we played, a very nice metal band played, complete with choreography and calisthenics. At the end of the hottest night in recent memory, our good friends and southern boombastic-fantastic-slop rock boys, Half Raptor put on a wild show. They covered Blink 182 and Kyle lost his mind and kicked that kid straight out of his wheel chair. So he's dead.

Those dudes in Half Raptor really know how to treat a body. They put southern hospitality on a whole new level. We can't thank those guys enough for being so rad.

Now we're chilling in Austin, TX, about to watch Independence Day. I LOVE AMERICA!
-Zack

Dillon Loves His Country

2011-07-04T13:51:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July, ya'll!

Alma, AR

2011-07-03T16:37:00.001-07:00

Home of Popeye and no public restrooms.

Kurt
-RRL

Sleepyhead

2011-07-02T16:26:00.001-07:00

Location:Fairmont City,United States

Here we go again

2011-07-02T06:51:00.000-07:00

XRA FEST 2010

2010-09-29T13:35:00.000-07:00

You probably can't tell from this picture, but this is during our set at XRA Fest 2010. We are behind all of these sweaty dudes. If you weren't there, you really missed a good time.

Ahhh

2010-08-02T14:30:00.001-07:00

!!!!!!

alexander
- RRL

Day 4

2010-08-02T07:58:00.001-07:00

Friday, July 30, our van stopped working. It was a little too late to get it looked at. We had it towed to Tifton, GA, where we stayed for the night. In the morning a mechanic said, "I can't figure out what's wrong with it. I can replace the fuel pump, but ain't no guarantee that will fix it." Onward HO!

So we pushed on. About 50 miles later, the van stopped running. We had to push it into the gas station at the next exit. Somehow God has cursed Georgia to be even hotter than Florida, and we sat outside waiting for Triple A. Aunt Karen's familiars came and picked us up and took us to a nice hotel. That was Saturday. The garage looked at our van on Sunday, but still couldn't figure out what was going on. It is now Monday. Four days of being trapped in southern Georgia.

We've been living off of delivered pizza and the flat, expired soda that the front desk gladly let us have for free. I don't know what we'll do if they don't fix it today. I have this really helpless feeling. Yesterday, I walked about half a mile down to the Best Buy and played the video games on display just to have something to do.

Being cooped up in a hotel room for three days are causing tensions to grow. Dillon seems extra on edge because his romantic advances towards everyone are increasing. Kyle got the shakes and can't leave the bed. Alex has unpacked and repacked everyone's suitcase, putting the clothes in alphabetical order. Kurt is the worst. He keeps throwing up on things around the room and then claiming it is his. Like a territorial thing. And me? I spend most of the time in the bathroom pooping and combing my hair at the same time. It's a nervous tick, I suppose. But if we have to stay here one more night, someone will surely die.

If you pray, pray for us to get home soon. If you cross your fingers, cross them that the van will get fixed. If you wish upon a star, you're an idiot because it is already day and we don't want to stay here another night.

If you are rich, come get us and take us home.

God it stinks in here. Kurt just threw up on my last pair of clean underwear.

-Zack

All Good Things. . .

2010-07-31T20:03:00.000-07:00

. . .get towed away in disgrace.

And thus ends our summer tour. We are currently stranded in Robin Williams, Georgia. It could be a fuel pump. It could be demons. Who knows?! Luckily, my aunt Karen has some family down here who were friendly enough to help us land a super cheap hotel room, as well as find us a mechanic. It's been a crazy and fun couple of months. We are looking forward to coming home and resting for a while and joining back up with society.

I'd like to take this moment to thank everyone this summer who opened their homes to us, made food, or befriended us. We met so many incredible people! And we got to see a lot of cool things, too! Remember when I was in the Redwood Forest? And we got to go to Disney World. Cool, huh?!

In debt and broken-spirited, we prepare to return to our normal lives (or in Dillon's case, back to his parents' house). Thanks, Fart Van, for getting us this far. But the $1200 we poured into isn't really paying off in the long run. Here comes the long road home.

Also, don't trust mechanics in Tifton, GA. They are liars and criminals.

-Zack

Steve's Words of Wisdom

2010-07-29T11:51:00.000-07:00

"If Barbecue was a girl, I'd consider it."

-Steve Marino

You've been too good to us. We'll miss you, buddy.

Steve

2010-07-29T11:40:00.001-07:00

Destroyed that ice cream and brownie, probably because it had BBQ drizzled on top.

alexander
- RRL

Bowling

2010-07-29T11:38:00.000-07:00

Dong69's purple balls. Actually it was my ball, but I think his were blue.

alexander
- RRL

30" pizza? Yes pleaze.

2010-07-29T11:35:00.000-07:00

Does it get any better???

alexander
- RRL

Disney world!!!

2010-07-28T22:04:00.000-07:00

What a day!!

-Alexander
RRL

AHHH!!!!!

2010-07-28T21:59:00.001-07:00

-alexander

RRL

Go, Splash Mountain, Go!

2010-07-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

This is Steve. You may have heard us mention him before. He is a phenomenal songwriter (and he's pretty good in bed, too!). You should definitely check out his music here. He plays under the name Moor Hound. Don't ask him why.
Now, not only do I love Steve's music, but he is a really great dude. I had the honor of riding in his truck, Maroono, on the trip from Sarasota to Orlando. We shared some chuckles, some tears, and he repeatedly stopped my advances.
He set up about three shows for us down here in Florida, is letting us stay at his house for three days, and went to Disney World with us. Talk about backbone!
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's go back to St. Augustine.

Hello. We're in St. Augustine. The oldest city in the United States. Of course yours truly wanted dearly to check out the sites in the area. But, as you might have gathered, yours truly is bad with organization and time management, and so we got the city just in time to find out that all of the other bands dropped off the show. That didn't stop us from doing our thing, though. In fact, we got so into the set, we wore costumes in the spirit of the history of the city. Here's a picture of Dillon as Ponc de Leon. The bartender felt bad for us and threw some money our way. We stayed to watch the local acoustic guy, and folks, I know I've said this a lot on this tour, but I mean it: I've never seen anything like it. Dude was drunk. I've seen that. But some of the patrons in the bar started a drum circle with the large wooden tables, while another screamed to the rhythm of the songs, "Play on Playa!" This went on for multiple songs. I would say that it got old, but you already knew that. It's St. Augustine!

St. Augustine was an interruption to our otherwise lovely stay in Gainesville, FL. Our good bud Evan from Umoja Orchestra let us run the house for a few days while he packed up to move to New York. Friday night brought us to a really great venue in Gainesville called The Atlantic, where we played with some really good bands, including Plastic Plastic. That was their first show and they pulled it off perfectly. No one threw anything at anyone else or growled or peed themselves. More than I can say for our first show. Anyway, the show was really great. Tons of people! We made it!

Saturday meant driving to Tampa but also seeing Steve. We played in an awesome used book store/record store called Mojo's in Tampa. I finally got to hear some new Moor Hound songs, which were fantastic. I also got to witness my new favorite summer band, The Grecian Urns, who put on a great unplugged show. The book store was so rad, they gave us stuff of free! Kurt snagged some piano books, I got a history of the Normans in Europe, and Kyle ended up with the entire Sweet Valley High series. That night we took over Kurt's uncle's house, which had a swimming pool, hot tub, king size bed, dungeon, and lots of pizza! We even made friends with the neighbors.

We then followed Steve to Sarasota for our show on Sunday. And let me tell you, the kids in Sarasota do not mess around. It was like playing for a brick wall. Faces straight, minimal applause. But then, we sold a few CDs and people said they really liked it. It reminded me of the good old days.

Yesterday we woke up around 7:30 and took of to Disney World, where dreams come true. The six of us ruled the park. We fast passed every dingus who tried to keep up with us. And in the Monster's Inc Laugh Room, Alex played Sully in the recreation of the plot of Monsters Inc. And! Kyle texted one of my (original) jokes to the number they put on the screen and they read it! What is it you ask?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Butter pecan.

Butter pecan who?

Butter pecan someone your own size!

I know it doesn't make any sense, but that's not the point. The point is that all I needed was boost to continue my pursuit of being a comedian and this was it. So, Benji, I hate to tell you, but I will be writing more and more jokes.

Disney World was more wonderful than I thought it could be. We are all pretty exhausted and our show fell through for tonight. So, we will be spending the day reflecting on our wonderful experience yesterday, how Mickey Mouse is actually kind of a dick, Minnie Mouse is a hussy, and there are few things as exhilarating or as terrifying as Space Mountain.
Also, we will try to get healthy. With only about eleven days left, a few of us have started to get the sickness. Here's hoping to hang in there to the end!

What Mickey don't know won't hurt him.

-Zack

Here goes nothing

2010-07-26T05:27:00.000-07:00

alexander
- RRL

3 peas in a pod

2010-07-25T10:04:00.001-07:00

alexander
- RRL

Everything...

2010-07-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

...A touring band needs

alexander
- RRL

We LOVE steve!!!!

2010-07-24T15:48:00.000-07:00

alexander
- RRL

Yay!!!!!!

2010-07-24T13:53:00.001-07:00

Yayyyyyy!!!

alexander
- RRL

Doodle pro

2010-07-23T18:06:00.000-07:00

alexander
- RRL

Famous

2010-07-23T18:05:00.001-07:00

Show tonight in Gainesville.

alexander
- RRL

Fuck that burger

2010-07-22T17:02:00.000-07:00

alexander
- RRL

Dillon

2010-07-22T14:24:00.001-07:00

Has the urge... To look like a freaky monkey.

alexander
- RRL

Last time

2010-07-22T14:16:00.001-07:00

This is a letter from the last tour we took to Florida. At the same house we are staying at tonight.

alexander
- RRL

No gum!

2010-07-21T18:09:00.000-07:00

Day ruled!!! Videos soon!!!

alexander
- RRL

Gator farm!!

2010-07-21T18:06:00.001-07:00

They almost didn't let dillon in because of that last sign, but he got in and he learned how to call the gators.

alexander
- RRL

We're Off to See the Wizard and BINGO Was His Name-O

2010-07-21T01:20:00.000-07:00

First of all, I am currently learning about what true friendship means from poor decisions of Eddie Winslow.

Secondly, Hello from Pensacola, FL! It's been a while since we've updated. Here we go!

We spent two terrific days in Austin, TX, with none other than THE Courtney Bres and her boy toy Colby. Our first show was an awesome venue called Space 12. The night started off with a bang from The Cocker Spaniels. Sean was an AWESOME dude and he put on a tight show. His CD is coming out very soon, and I highly recommend it. After we played, Legs Against Arms put on a fine show.

The following day brought red beans and rice, obstacle courses in the swimming pool, and endless amounts of hang out in a tiny apartment in Austin. That night we played at Red 7. There is seriously a show in every building in that city. But ours was bumping. Lots of cool bands. Plus we were attacked by more roaches!

Leaving Austin behind, Kyle drove us 9 straight hours to New Orleans where stayed with Courtney's family: Mr. John, Mama Bres, and Austin. We were fed like kings and Mama Bres washed our dirty undies. I fell asleep just as Indiana Jones got Hitler's autograph. And all I night I had nightmares about what George Lucas might come up with next.

The next day we played a really fun show at Hey! Cafe in New Orleans. Could quite possibly be the sweatiest show I've ever played. We met some really great people that night. We slept on Bourbon Street on beds of vomit and empty beer bottles. After lunch the next day we split up and Austin showed Kurt and me around the city. I really wanted to see the Lower 9th Ward and the traces of devastation left by Katrina and Brad Pitt. We saw all three! You can read about our trip into the 9th Ward here. We tried to volunteer the next day to help with the oil spill, but either the government or BP has made it nearly impossible to do so. You've got get take classes and get certified. Who knew?!

We finally said goodbye to the Bres family and began the journey to Florida. On the way there we stopped at a gator ranch. I couldn't afford an air boat ride, so we just hung around with the gators. The owner taught Dillon how to call the gators. Eventually he had them jumping through hoops and performing long division. We had all day to do whatever we wanted in Pensacola, which included Inception, Sam's Surf City, IHOP, and an awesome show at The Handlebar. I got my body rocked in a water slide at Sam's and have some slide burns to prove it.

By the way, our good friend Cool Steve is biking across the country. You can keep up with him here. Be safe, Steve! We miss you!

If you know anybody who lives in Florida, give them a call. We'll be here for over a week and we're playing all over. Plus, we get a day off at Disney World!

Just over two weeks left. We finally made it.

-Zack

Neverending bridge

2010-07-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

Causeway

alexander
- RRL

More great homemade food

2010-07-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

Fried shrimp poboy sandwiches

More jumbalaya.

alexander
- RRL

Pizza

2010-07-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

That's all

alexander
- RRL

NBA jam

2010-07-18T10:23:00.000-07:00

All day long... Suckas

alexander
- RRL

Huh?

2010-07-18T10:22:00.001-07:00

I do

alexander
- RRL

Hey! Cafe

2010-07-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

Thanks for a super fun and ultra sweaty show!!

alexander
- RRL

Yup

2010-07-18T00:12:00.000-07:00

BBQ tofu poboy in New Orleans

alexander
- RRL

Show tonight

2010-07-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

In New Orleans

alexander
- RRL

Yay

2010-07-17T11:38:00.000-07:00

Woke up to beignets!!!!

Thanks momma bres!!

alexander
- RRL

Saying goodbye

2010-07-16T09:49:00.001-07:00

To my bed of 3 days.

Thanks Courtney!

Alexander
- RRL

Space jam

2010-07-16T09:48:00.001-07:00

Get ready to Jam

alexander
- RRL

Drink list

2010-07-16T09:47:00.001-07:00

Root beard

alexander
- RRL

Karaoke

2010-07-16T09:46:00.000-07:00

Bad religion on a karaoke list???

alexander
- RRL

Billy is the Extreme!

2010-07-16T08:13:00.000-07:00

Leaving Austin in style.

Pool party

2010-07-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

24/7

alexander
- RRL

Show tonight

2010-07-15T18:59:00.001-07:00

alexander
- RRL

Red beans and rice

2010-07-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

Thanks Courtney

Then a spicy chicken boca with baked macaroni and cheese.

alexander
- RRL

Oh cockerspaniels

2010-07-15T18:58:00.001-07:00

Awesome tunes, funny van

alexander
- RRL

Dino DNA

2010-07-14T11:09:00.002-07:00

...Er I mean Dino Mac and cheese

alexander
- RRL

Zack

2010-07-14T11:09:00.001-07:00

Loves reading books, even if he goes to a book rack to find they are just single sheets of paper that have a picture of a baby penny hardaway on them.

alexander
- RRL

Well shoot

2010-07-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

I wish we had gotten on this show, I love soul music.

alexander
- RRL

Fresh pressed

2010-07-14T11:06:00.000-07:00

Apple juice from the village cafe in Bryan tx. Amazing.

alexander
- RRL

People with Degrees Tell Me I'm Unsane

2010-07-14T09:37:00.000-07:00

I know what you're asking yourselves: Is everything bigger in Texas?

The answer is yes. But it doesn't stop there. Everything is also hotter in Texas. And heavier. I don't know if it has a stronger gravitational pull than the rest of the country, but you can definitely feel it here. It is also Mexicaner. And it gives you indigestion.

If you can look past these things, then you can enjoy the big and handsome state of Texas.

We drove through the night to get to Amarillo. When I say we, I mean Kurt and Kyle. They both chugged a case of Red Bull and took a caffeine suppository so they could party all night through the exciting drive. We saw lots of wildlife.

We spent all day in Amarillo at the Coffee Shop where we would play. I walked across the street and ordered what I thought was a regular cheeseburger. It turned out to be a an entire calf with cheese pumped into its stomach, smooshed in between two loafs of bread. Texas!

That night, we turned down our amps and played a lighter set. We got a few more yawns than usual, but no ear bleeds. Success! Plus, we sold some things.

Now, let me preface the next section with this: Dallas is a trash hole. That being said, our time in Dallas was very pleasant indeed! We saw the Cowboy's Stadium, ran into Dirk Novitzki, and were treated extremely well by the venue. The sound guy reminded me what it means to be a team player and I got kissed by a bearded lady!

The good news in Dallas came in the form of Ben Gastright. He and his lovely wife made is the most delicious waffles I've ever experienced. It was so good that each of us took turns pooping in their son's crib because we already clogged the toilet. That son that I mentioned, Luke, is one piece of work. Hates alligators, loves beards. We had a terrific time playing with Luke, and Ben gave us a lot of cool music.

Oh, and the night before, I may or may not have spent some quality time with Kyle.

The next day we traveled to the enchanted city of Shreveport, LA, where, we soon discovered, that we would be playing with one other band. And that band was from Tucson. Excited for more Tucson Classics but not so excited for the turnout, Kyle decided to teach those dinguses at the venue a lesson by stealing their most prized possession. Luckily there was a Cane's nearby and I totally got my chicken strips on!

The girl we stayed with stormed in at 6:00 AM with pots and pans and her pepper spray and forced us out of the house. Not knowing what to do, and Kyle's eyes bleeding, we drove to the Woodlands, TX, which is apparently a very affluent suburb of Houston.

Since we finally had some time to kill and none of us had stayed awake for over 24 hours, we decided to finally to concede to the feeling inside of all of us that had been nagging us for weeks. So we did it. Was it wonderful? Yes. Did it change my mind about 3D? Yes. Did we cry. Yes. Except Kyle. He was doing something much louder and snottier.

That night, we were totally bamboozled in a good way. Sitting at the venue for an hour and a half with the three guys that worked there and the girl who was opening made us all believe that The Woodlands was a bust. But, out of nowhere, just as our new friend Nick got up to play, the room filled up. Forty people literally apparated. Nick played an awesome set with his two sisters, which made me miss my sisters! Some people stayed. Most of them left. God will judge them accordingly.

After the show as a total pizza party. Dillon grew wings (see below), Nick showed us youtubes of guys vomiting, and one of Nick's sisters fashioned my hair into a faux hawk. It was wild!

Not much to say about Bryan, TX. We met a cuckoo cuckoo and the sound guy really liked us. We all got stomach aches and it was hot.

Now, we are in Austin. Everyone says this place rules. We have two shows. We'll judge it accordingly.

Saturday we will be in New Orleans. If the methane bubble explodes and kills us, please know that we love you. Especially you.

Pizza party

2010-07-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

Dillon has a eagle wing head, it was trying to fly away from the rest of his body.

alexander
- RRL

Multiple colored

2010-07-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

Lights

alexander
- RRL

Where To Buy Our Album

2010-07-11T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

As you hopefully know, our new album "This Is Why We Don't Have Nice Things" was released on June 29th on Crossroads of America Records. What you may still be wondering is, "What are all of my options for purchasing said album?"

Well friends, wonder no more! Below is a list of all the places to obtain the physical and digital versions of the album, depending on which suits your fancy. Enjoy!

Physical stores:

We are beyond pumped to announce that you can pick up our album nationally at the Alliance of Independent Media Stores (a group of 20 or so awesome independent record shops). Also, you can currently find our album in the listening stations at any of these fine locations...pretty cool! Support your local record stores!

Online (physical album):

Crossroads of America Records

Online (digital download):

Amazon
iTunes

Delicious bfast

2010-07-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

Waffles with homemade apple mash with some eggies. Thanks ben and jodi!! Oh yeah and luke!

alexander
- RRL

Success with Women

2010-07-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

Last night, a 50 year old woman with a beard put me in head lock and smooched me for a good 15 seconds.

That says so many sad things about me as a person.

Let's add on to my reputation as a lady killer in Dallas: As we exited the venue after the show, three smoking hot Hispanic babes grabbed Kurt and me.

"Are you guys going upstairs?" one asked.

"What's upstairs?" I replied stupidly.

"We're dancing!" they screamed.

I looked at Kurt. Nothing more needed to be said. We followed the sweet fine babe-a-trons upstairs to where nobody was dancing. Everybody actually looked miserable, drink in hand, standing mostly in the dark and not saying much.

Our ladies trailed off toward the bar. Kurt and I followed.

"Let's get out of here," he said.

The shorter of the two came back.

"Why isn't anyone dancing?" I asked.

"It is what it is," she said. And then said again about twelve more times.

I nodded at Kurt.

"Are you guys sober?" Short Babe asked.

"Extremely," I replied.

"You guys should get a drink," she suggested.

"I have some drink tickets from downstairs," Kurt gloated.

She took the tickets and turned around towards the bar, which left just enough time for Kurt and I to sprint to the staircase and leave our lovely drunk girls behind.

Surely, we left a legacy here in Dallas.

-Zack

Dallas Texas

2010-07-11T00:48:00.001-07:00

And zack found and new girlfriend, she moves quick. Kisses on first encounter and brings the unwanted facial hair along for the ride..

alexander
- RRL

Listening station

2010-07-10T18:45:00.001-07:00

Good records in Dallas Texas... Woop woop!

alexander
- RRL

Ha

2010-07-10T18:43:00.002-07:00

See you later alligator

alexander
- RRL

Dillon plays here

2010-07-10T18:43:00.001-07:00

But he also poops here

alexander
- RRL

Haha

2010-07-09T22:08:00.001-07:00

Bathroom writing is funny.

alexander
- RRL

Haaaangin Out

2010-07-09T15:20:00.001-07:00

Without a doubt, this is the high point of our musical careers. Thanks, Tucson girls.

Kurt

Proof that models dig us

2010-07-09T14:54:00.000-07:00

Well, at least one of us.

Note: Extensive photoshop editing was necessary in order to make Zack's head fit into this shot.

Kurt

HAAAAAAANGIN' OUT

2010-07-09T02:21:00.000-07:00

Well, friends, when I last left you, I was throwing up and peeing myself all over the Grand Canyon. Since then, we have made a lot of friends and played some really great shows!

The show in Scottsdale was not largely attended (it being Monday night), but we met a lot of really awesome people, including my new favorite band, Underground Cities. Not only did these dudes and girl dudes know how to wail but they were also really fun! Jake took us swimming and made me eat 19 hot dogs before I puked in the hot tub.

We stayed the night at Brent's house. The next morning, Brent surprised us with a free meal from the Mexican restaurant at which he works. We were supposed to call Jackie before we went, but the entire band threatened to whoop us if we even said a word to Jackie. She's a cutie pie, that's for sure!

We packed up our stuff at Brent's and began to drive. To say that we were not stoked to go back to Tucson is an understatement. There are many other (cooler [temperature wise]) places we'd rather go. But we stepped back into the sweltering and mind-numbingly hot city of Tucson. At the venue, we found some anarchists who were trash talking about how mad their basketball skills were. We challenged them to an awesome game, and of course we won because we drew up organized plays and they just ran around wild without any type of cohesiveness.

After showing those anarchists what it means to be a Hoosier, we went back to Dry River where the other bands had shown up and were loading in. Tucson was looking better already. Then, out of nowhere, in defiance of the will of this tour, people started filling up the venue. Dillon pinched me to make sure I wasn't dreaming. And I pinched him to make sure he knew that he was a nincompoop that shouldn't go around pinching people.

The first two bands were really good. Then we got up and started a dance party in Tucson. People really enjoyed what we were doing. And the good times continued as a really awesome ska band played. There was no way of knowing that the end of the show would be the beginning of an adventure in Tucson.

That night we stayed at the Lovenest with three of the sweetest girls I'd ever laid eyes on. ZZ, Emily, and Breyell made us feel quite at home. After a stop at the Taco Shop and a dip in the pool down on University, and chilling with the Brianna's, we came back to the Lovenest where Kyle slept in the couch outside, alongside the biggest beetles in history. I couldn't do it because I knew they'd lay eggs in my hair and make me go crazy.

Now, we'd been having some van concerns. The temperature gauge was getting extremely hot and the van wasn't overheating. So we decided to take it to the shop where a wonderful man named Neil reached into my pocket and into my body and took my life savings as well as all my happiness and positive thinking. He explained to me what all needed to be done to save the Fart Van and how much it would cost. After I came to and had stopped weeping, the girls took us back to the Lovenest, where, according to their own good consciences, they began to organize a benefit show for us at their house.

Kyle and I played and acoustic set with some of the girls' friends and they raised $50 to help pay our debt to Neil. Nothing posted here on Tourblog could possibly express how thankful we are to the young ladies in Tucson. Plus, Brianna gave me some new books to read and free DQ!! We saw the wonderful Tucson sunrise before we fell asleep.

We left Arizona with significantly lighter pockets but not with a heavy heart. We were shown some hospitality that a lot of people don't get to experience. And we went to Eegee's for breakfast! We said our goodbyes to the gals and Dillon took the wheel for the first time this tour. Aside from the gypsy we hit in New Mexico, he did a spectacular job. El Paso was beautiful and the show matched the feel of the city. Our new friends in D.A. put on a spectacular show. We got our dance on once more, and our pockets got a tiny bit heavier.

The last few days have been extremely trying. I won't lie to you: we talked about the possibility of throwing in the towel because of all the repairs we've had to face. But in spite of our bad fortune with shows and van trouble, we have been able to meet some very fantastic people. And we've been shown what it means to really give. This is a thank you to everyone who has taken care of us this time out. We appreciate it so much and we've been challenged to pick up and run with the torch while we are at home and bands are passing through.

But a special thank you to the ladies in Tucson who helped and housed strangers during a very stressful time.

Texas, don't let us down!

-Zack

We hate bugs

2010-07-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

Especially gigantic beetles!!!

alexander
- RRL

Thanks lovely ladies

2010-07-08T15:36:00.001-07:00

It was such a pleasure meeting you all, thank you for the help, support, food, pool parties, haaaaaang outs, and all the hospitality.

Hopefully we will be doing this at your place again soon, or you doing that in Indiana. Thanks again!!!!

alexander
- RRL

Kitty grenade

2010-07-07T14:29:00.000-07:00

alexander
- RRL

Puppy party

2010-07-07T13:23:00.000-07:00

alexander
- RRL

Kitty party

2010-07-07T13:22:00.000-07:00

alexander
- RRL

Oh no

2010-07-07T13:21:00.000-07:00

These are the things my nightmares are made of.

alexander
- RRL

Thanks!!

2010-07-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

More delicious free food. Thanks Brent!!!

alexander
- RRL

Awesome times

2010-07-06T14:54:00.000-07:00

Perfect temp. pool then jacuzzi.

And a BBQ.

With sweet dudes from the band Underground Cities.

alexander
- RRL

Kute Kitty

2010-07-06T14:07:00.000-07:00

This is a few weeks late, but check out this crazy cat we stayed with in Omaha.

YouTube Video

Kurt

Dillon's signature move

2010-07-06T13:49:00.001-07:00

YouTube Video

Kurt

the view

2010-07-05T12:17:00.000-07:00

-Alexander

RRL

Grand Canyon Excursion

2010-07-05T12:04:00.001-07:00

Wowie zowie.

alexander
- RRL

WTF

2010-07-05T11:42:00.000-07:00

Beyond weird experience...

alexander
- RRL

Coldplay Reminds Me of Myself

2010-07-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July, everyone. I know that I'm late for the holiday, but I've been so busy! I need to get you up to date. We'll start back in Hollywood!

That's right, we five dudes blessed Hollywood with our rugged good looks and our quirky sense of fashion. We even met a celebrity! We stopped briefly in front of the Chinese Theater where I slowly caressed the hand imprints of one Emma Watson, and Kyle stood in the foot prints of Darth Vader. How's that for ominous?!

Our show in Long Beach wasn't much to cough at. We met some nice folks. But let's put it at this: our $2 band discount on our pizza that we received three hours after we ordered did not put us in very good moods. Well, the non-applause of the audience didn't help.

We drove all night to Tucson. On the way there, we got stopped by Border Patrol. We had to empty out our pockets and a dirty dog got all up in my van! We had to repeatedly answer to this interrogation:

"Listen, guys. We know you have something. Now's the time to tell us what's in the van."

To which we replied:

"Kurt's got some leftover Chinese food, there's a cooler full of Salsitas, and some really dirty Mad-lib's that would make your mother blush!"

To which the officer replied with a pistol whip to Alex's forehead.

Eventually they let us go and we continued on to Tucson. We arrived around 7 AM and it was already in the 90's. Here's a picture of Kyle sleeping in the van in Tucson. Isn't he cute?
Too cool ourselves off, we sat around in Borders for a few hours. Then, we decided to go to the cheap theater in town and see Splice. You'll have to ask the other guys how it ended because I couldn't take it anymore and left to find a more edifying film.

Splice is easily, one of the worst movies I've ever seen. HTTYD, however, has Vikings in it! So that was awesome!

The show in Tucson wasn't much better than the movie except that we got a free dinner out of it. And that night Alex and I finally got to sleep after being awake for over 24 hours.

The next day, we drove to Sedona, Arizona, a small tourist town just north of Flagstaff. It's a small town. And they didn't bother booking any locals. So, once again, we geared up for a show for three people. But I took my shirt off, so that helped. A lady who works there invited us to stay at her parents' house. We grabbed some frozen pizzas and walked into a very interesting night full of strangers, strangers playing music, and strangers telling us that we didn't know how to make frozen pizzas. We each got a bed, however. Best night of sleep I've had yet!

The 4th of July was packed full, so bare with me.

The five of us headed to The Grand Canyon around noon, leaving our bags and trailer behind at the parents' house, where we intended on staying again. It was a beautiful drive. But not as beautiful as the canyon itself. I cannot describe it to you. Well maybe I can. A really big hole with lots of layers. But that doesn't really do it justice. Hopefully Kurt will stop being so lazy and post some pictures and videos up on here. It was truly amazing.

And whatever you hear, I did NOT whimper like a child while climbing out onto a rock.

On the way back, we stopped at Bedrock City (see below), where Kyle pet a goat and Dillon climbed through the belly of a large snake where he developed the Whooping Cough and we think Dysentery.

Back in Sedona. Our hostess was not answering her phone. We treated ourselves to a nice meal and headed to Olde Sedona where we knew there was a band playing and people we had met would be there. Boy were we in for a treat.

We caught the tale end of Fat Andy Dick's set who sounded like a very interesting mixture of people.
He sang a wonderful song about Unicorns and Dragons, followed by a song about Koalas.
Then we sat through some of Dirty Lingo's set, but it was just a little too much for us. We drove back to the house to see if anyone was there (because we still hadn't heard back from our host). We found a raging party and three sisters ready to get wild. We packed up the Party Van and headed back to the bar where we got our dance on like crazy.

The night didn't end there!

We came back to the house and continued the dance party in the living room. Kurt got his grind on. And we danced and danced. We decided to head to bed when we could see the light poking its beautiful head over the mountains. I'll never forget the last 24 hours and these three nutty sisters that have been so hospitable (plus, the middle sister loved grinding with Kurt!).

Tonight we head to Scottsdale. Then back to Tucson where our skin will most likely drip off our bodies. It's the hottest place on Earth.

Oh! I also finished A Swiftly Tilting Planet. Read it!

-Zack

Flinstones Adventure Ride

2010-07-05T10:21:00.001-07:00

I don't know what just happened there.

-Alexander

RRL

Flinstones Adventure

2010-07-04T22:56:00.000-07:00

-Alexander

RRL

Nice

2010-07-03T19:07:00.001-07:00

Sedona live in Sedona

alexander
- RRL

Yea

2010-07-03T15:20:00.000-07:00

We do love free delicious food.

alexander
- RRL

I swear..

2010-07-03T15:19:00.000-07:00

I swear I went to church this morning.

alexander
- RRL

Do..

2010-07-03T15:18:00.000-07:00

Does a gypsy repent?

alexander
- RRL

Hello from Tucson!

2010-07-02T12:58:00.000-07:00

There's no escape.

OYG

2010-07-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

We just got questioned, searched and quizzed by the US Border patrol. Experience of a lifetime.

alexander
- RRL

He is a machine

2010-07-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

A sexy man machine

alexander
- RRL

Oh dilly

2010-07-01T14:42:00.001-07:00

Dillons favorite tourist attraction

alexander
- RRL

Uh..

2010-07-01T14:41:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty sure we were never in the cool zone

alexander
- RRL

Hollywood blvd

2010-07-01T13:15:00.002-07:00

alexander
- RRL

Mmmm

2010-07-01T13:15:00.001-07:00

Dill and I get our salad on

Then our pizza on

alexander
- RRL